Monday, January 9, 2012

Recognize your power… it goes deeper than just the power of the P%#@$!

I received lots of feedback with last weeks posting regarding embracing your singleness.  And although most of you got the point…many of you didn’t think that we explored far enough, and asked to expand embracing your singleness while involved in relationships.

First of all, the answer is yes!  Yes you can still be the strong, sexy independent woman you are, and still have successful relationships with men.  I believe that the key is held in recognizing your power.

It goes much deeper than a beautiful smile, a fabulous scent and the power of the P(*^%.  Understanding the power of the almighty word is probably the most influential tool that you have in your arsenal.  Getting him to listen, understand and see your side of things can be quite easy…if you approach him in the right way.

1.) Try Communicating with a Tender Touch- Don’t be combative and argumentative. Getting him to side with you takes more than proving your point.  Raising your voice because you are upset with him isn’t going to do a thing except shut him down and tune you out.  Try using the tender touch…for example:  “Yes, Honey, that’s a great idea, but have you considered this?  Now I will support your decision, no matter what you decide, but I would be more comfortable with this.  Now again, it’s your decision.!”  Then   drop it. Keep it short and sweet.  You’ve said your peace and you’ve made your stance known without taking away his power.

2.) Let Him Take Care of You- When you’re used to being self sufficient and independent, it’s hard to let some things go and ask for help.  I’ve struggled with this one and have failed many times.  I want things done when I want them done.  For example: “Honey can you reach into that top cabinet and grab the sugar…I can’t reach it.”  Or how about “Baby, can you get that pack of water out of the trunk of my car, please?”  Then exercise your patience and wait for him to do it.  If the thing you need is time sensitive, let him know that too.  “Honey, can you get the water out of the car for me please?  I need it now so that I can get my exercise bag ready .”  Now we all know that you’ve always been able to do these things on your own, but making your man feel as though he is needed is a powerful thing.

3.) Communication is Key- While the way you present your communication to him is paramount, it is also important to know that your man is not a mind reader.  Don’t expect him to do something for you, just because you think he should.  Tell him what you want.  If your anniversary in next week and you want to him to take you to dinner…ask him.  Don’t hope that he remembers your anniversary and then get upset with him because he didn’t remember.  Often time than not, men have selective memories.  Just because it’s important to you, doesn’t mean it will have the same significance for him.  Remember that you have not…because you ask not!

4.) Reward Him Often-  If you’ve been able to get him to listen to your suggestions, or gotten him to get the water out of the trunk of your car… why not reward him? Now we all know then men are sexually driven, but if its not a good time for sex, then how about his favorite dessert or favorite beer?  How about a nice mini massage on the neck and shoulders? Have you complimented him lately?  It doesn’t have to be anything big, but showing your man that he is appreciated can go a long way towards getting what you need him to do bot now and in the future.

5.) Be Consistent-  If you start doing these things, make sure that you continue to do them.  Don’t ask him to get the water out of the trunk this week, and then you pull it out of the trunk next week.  Need him often.  Don’t support him this week and take his power away the next.  Repetition and consistency will be fundamental to your future success.  Making him feel powerful, desirable will go a long way in helping you to maintain your power, while resulting in a happy relationship.

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