Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Do you Have A Spare Tire???

Do you listen to Blog Talk Radio??? For those who do not know what it is, Blog Talk Radio is a web-based platform that allows callers to host a live call-in Internet broadcast without the use of complicated or expensive equipment.  All that is needed simply a computer and a phone. As a listener, you listen the same way you would traditional radio...just on your computer. Cool, huh???

Well admittedly, I had never listened in until recently. While preparing for my upcoming interview, I thought it might behoove me to do a bit of research, so I might have a better an idea of what I could be in store for.

While listening to the show, I heard a guy confirm being involved in a committed relationship and also admit to having a spare tire... aka the fall guy or fall girl in this case. You could call it someone who you know will be there whenever you call.  It could also be known as the number in the black book that never gets erased. The person you call whenever for whatever... and they are there for you.  Are you that girl???

And while the two female co-hosts argued all the various reasons why this is all kinds of wrong... I couldn't help the pure frustration I experienced while listening in. Yes, it is all kinds of wrong and yes all of their points were 100% valid, at least from the female perspective. But the listener side of me just wanted to shake them both scream back at my computer screen... "DID YOU REALLY HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID TO YOU???" Sadly, I don't think they really heard him.

He's got a spare tire and in so many words... he's not getting rid of her. He's not asking for permission... he's telling you what he's got! As the banter continued back and forth, at the end of the day, the points his co-hosts argued will not make him go home and change his evil ways. This is just one of the many reasons "WHY MEN HAVE ALL THE FUN!"  Men know how to put their needs first. And while we ladies may not necessarily agree with this viewpoint,  He's still gonna do what he does...that's just what men do.

Now my question is...

How many men think the same way?  My guess is probably quite a few.

Then my next question is... Why aren't more women doing this too?  Just another guess, but I would venture to say that there are probably far more men than there are women with spare tires.

Now that we are aware that there is a possibility that this could be the case with your man... do you as women subscribe to the theory... If you can't beat 'em... join 'em!  Now that you are armed with a bit more information than you had do you intend to use it?  Do you file it away in your mental filing cabinet, never to be seen again until it slaps you in the face when it pops up again, leaving you surprised and unprepared?  Or do you flip that script ladies... and go out to get you one too? Maybe you already have one...  Whatever you decide, just don't end up like the guy in the picture posted above.  Clearly,  he didn't have a spare when he needed one... and he looks like he could have used one!

Two wrongs may not make it right... but it certainly does give us an even playing field!

Here's a link for tomorrow nights show (Wednesday 9pm EST/6pm PST)...
"Talkin' Da Biz w/ Ms. K and Diva"

Hope you'll be joining us!!!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Better Than A Boyfriend???

Anyone who has ever loved a dog has experienced that feeling of sheer excitement your dog has for you when return home from a rough day at the office.  Just the adorable way his whole body shakes as he swiftly wags his tail or that apparent smile on his face as his tongue hangs out of his mouth. He doesn’t care where you’ve been or why you stayed out so late.  He's just thrilled to see you…no questions asked!  It warms my heart just thinking about my dog's sheer unconditional love for me.

Well as it turns out, woman’s best friend may just be better for you than your husband or boyfriend.  Anecdotal and scientific evidence shows that dog owners (and pet owners in general)  tend to be healthier than the average person. Think I am crazy? Well think about this…

Better than Drugs for High Blood Pressure-
Yes, it’s true. While ACE inhibiting drugs can generally reduce blood pressure, they aren’t as effective on controlling spikes in blood pressure due to stress and tension. However, in a recent study, groups of hypertensive New York stockbrokers who got dogs or cats were found to have lower blood pressure and heart rates than those who didn’t get pets. When they heard of the results, most of those in the non-pet group went out and got pets!

Take Me Outside Mommy-
It’s no secret that dogs require walking and frequent exercising, forcing owners to be more active too.  According to a 2010 study in the American Journal of Public Health, people with dogs spent more time doing moderate to vigorous physical activity than those without.  Canadian researchers found that dog owners walked an average of 300 minutes per week, compared with non-dog owners, who walked an average of 168 minutes per week.  This doesn’t take into consideration the frequent games of catch or trips to the dog park.  Who knew?

Bad Mood?
Ever try hugging your dog after a bad day at work?  For those who love animals, it’s virtually impossible to stay in a bad mood when a pair of loving puppy eyes meets yours. Research supports the mood-enhancing benefits of pet ownership as they followed a group of men with HIV/AIDS and discovered they were less likely to suffer from depression if they owned a pet.

Got Stress?
Did you know that the simple act of just playing with Max or Sheba can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, causing you to calm and relax.  And while we all know the power of talking out your issues with friends and family who’s also a good listeners, recent research shows that spending time with a pet may be even better. Researcher have proven that when one is  conducting a task that’s stressful, people actually experienced less stress when their pets were with them than when a supportive friend or even their spouse was present.  Probably because we all know that our pets don’t judge us; they just love us.

Not that I would ever advocate using your canine as a "Man-Magnet," but try taking your dog to the dog park or your favorite dog-friendly restaurant.  Dogs have shown time and time again that they have a funny way of bringing people together.  Almost every time Maxamole' and I enjoy a day out on the town, complete strangers (both men and women) stop us to chat. It also doesn't hurt that he's so darn cute...and friendly too. Not lonely?  Well, even I was surprised to learn that people with pets enjoy superior self-esteem,  and suffer less depression due to an optimistic mindset that companionship with animals engenders. Now for, this explains a lot.

Unconditional Love-
Speaking if that powerful four letter word... This is probably the best reason of all to own a dog. The man in your life may tell you he loves you, but is it unconditional? Pets can be there for you in ways that your man can’t. They can offer love and companionship, and can also enjoy comfortable silences, keep secrets and are excellent at snuggling. If there is no one special in your life at the moment, then consider your furry friend to be the best antidote to combat loneliness. In fact, research shows that nursing home residents reported less loneliness when visited by dogs than when they spent time with other people. They didn't even have to own their furry little friends.

Did I mention that dogs have been known to detect low blood sugar?  Or how about detecting various types of cancer in their owners, when even their owners didn't suspect anything was wrong? And the list doesn’t stop there.  I'd be remiss if I didn't include those dogs that are trained to help those with other health issues such as autismseizures or the service dogs that assist with blindness.

I'll be the first to admit that dog ownership isn't for everyone.  Outside of the sheer dedication that is required to be a responsible pet owner, just the time, patience and financial obligation is enough to make you want to pull your hair out. The expense of pet ownership can be much more than you think. If it's not the hours of rug cleaning from house training, then it could be the replacement of your favorite shoes because Sonny found a new chew toy.  But at least in my experience, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

Now,  if I could only get my man to be just like my dog... life could truly be Heaven on Earth!!!  Hmmmmm???  I might be on to something...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Art of the Pick Up Line...

You happen to maneuver your shopping cart turning down aisle three when you come across an adorable specimen, standing in front of the organic breakfast cereal, that is just too resistible to let walk away. You manage to get a good look at both hands, and happen to notice that he's NOT wearing a wedding ring, NOR is there a sign of a tan line on either ring finger.  The realization of this fact begins to make you nervous and your palms get hot and sweaty.  At this moment you realize that you are starting to get flush in the face and before your anxiety makes you appear as though you are running a fever. Do you…

(A) Decide that you are just too shy to make a move and you continue walking down the isle letting a perfectly great opportunity get away?

(B) Get his attention by asking..."Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've met you only in my dreams."

(C) Wait until he reaches for a cereal box to ask..."Is that a really good cereal?" and finish with your best smile?

My fingers are crossed that you didn’t chose either “A” or “B.” In my earnest heart of hearts, I believe that the art of the pick up line is to simply not have a line at all. All those cheesy and sometimes sexist one-liners are not enough to get you to first base if you aren’t approaching him (or anyone for that matter) with sincerity.  The best one-liners aren’t one-liners at all but rather icebreakers or conversation starters that help you to make that initial approach.  Truth be told, if your too shy to make that initial approach, then a quick glance combined with a great smile might be all that you need to walk away with his phone number.

Many of my male counterparts have mentioned time and time again that they are not just flattered but for the most part relieved, when a woman makes the first move.  Not only is it an ego booster for them, they will more times than not, return the flirtation because of your effort.

Making the first move isn’t at all where this thing ends. On the contrary, it is only the beginning. Understand that your follow up is even more important than the initial approach. What good will it do to get him to engage in conversation if you don’t seal the deal with a phone number?

For example: Your delectable hottie of a specimen, standing in front of the organic breakfast cereal looks like he’s pretty fit and one could safely assume that he probably takes decent care of his body.  So do you…

(A) Thank him for his advice on the cereal and tell him to have a nice day before you walk away?

(B) Compliment him on his fit stature and tell him that you’d like to get his ideas on eating organic and staying fit?

(C) Admit that you only asked him about the cereal because you think he’s adorable, and could care less about the damn cereal?

In this case either B or C would work, but if you really want to get to know him better, I would suggest flattery because simply put, flattery could get you there.  In this case I’d suggest B. but don’t assume that the flattery will win him over.  If you don’t think he’s fit… then by all means, don’t say that. If your not comfortable with that, then come up with something else that flows off your tongue a bit better.  Never be fake about it! Always be genuine about your intent, because I promise you that if you are not, it could bite you in the butt later on when you are least expecting it. Alternatively, should you fess up and admit your true motive, you could be mistaken for a “player,” and then not be taken seriously. As a woman, trust me when I say this is not a good look. In this case, honesty combined with a bit of seduction is the best policy, and even if he doesn’t surrender his phone number, you can be comforted by the fact there is probably a smile on your face and have probably made his day.  Not half bad for five minutes worth of work.

I think the point here is…if you don’t try, you’ll never know what works for you.  I have found circumstances where all that was needed was a bit of eye contact and a smile.  In other cases, drumming up a full-fledged conversation combined with a few “off the cuff” moments of laughter sealed the deal.  But you’ll never know if you aren’t willing to move outside your box and give it a try. The key here is making the effort.

Trust and believe that this will not work 100% of the time.  Get it in your head that this will take some work to naturally flow off your tongue, and you may be faced with a bit of rejection.  But what ever you do, understand that rejection in no way means that you must give in the towel.  You’ve heard the saying… “If at fail you don’t succeed, try, try again!”  In this case, practice makes perfect.  Challenge yourself to see how successful you can be by trying to get the number. Make it a game… can I get 5 telephone numbers this weekend???

My advice…shoot for the moon!  If you miss… then at least you’ll be amongst the stars!  Oh… and HAPPY SURFING!!!