Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Fortitude of Freedom

I don’t know about you… but I enjoy my own company. Although I am blessed with a fabulous arsenal of friends, (and I have some of the best friends in the world,) there are times when only my own company will do.   There doesn’t need to be a personal trauma or an issue that needs contemplation for me to pack a bag and head away for a weekend.  There are times where I don’t even need a destination.  Sometimes,  a tank of gas will do just fine.

There is a certain satisfaction that comes with the realization that there is power in freedom. The idea that I can make a decision to go ANYWHERE and do just about ANYTHING is not just alluring… it’s liberating!  All that is needed is a desire. It can start with the simplest of ideas, like travel for example. The concept of freedom is such a wonderful thing, and yet many of us don’t exercise it to the fullest extent.  We react life as it happens instead of conscientiously choosing where we want our lives to go.  When was the last time you chosen to exercise your autonomy?

This weekend, I am exhibiting my free will in Savannah, Georgia. I had the desire to be near water, so I packed my weekend bag with a couple pairs of jeans, a comfortable pair of shoes, a bottle of my favorite wine, and an iPod full of my favorite tunes.  Other than the selection of a hotel on the riverfront, I really didn’t have a plan.  Whatever struck my fancy…that is what I chose to do.  Friday night sounded like a fabulous night for a rooftop dinner while watching the sunset.  Saturday’s unseasonably warm weather felt ideal for exploring the city’s exquisite architecture, and allowed me to discover Savannah’s only craft brewery…go figure!  And that wasn’t even on the list…because I chose not to have one.

Today is Sunday.  So far it’s been a magnificent day for a fabulous breakfast, followed by some quiet time enjoying the view from my riverfront balcony.  Maybe late this afternoon I’ll find a great Sushi Restaurant, and afterwards go shopping for the best pralines in the city to bring back to my family.  They’ll love that.  Maybe I’ll choose something else?  Who knows?

What I do know is that I LOVE choosing sovereignty.  I am truly grateful for the God given right to be the person I choose to be.  I can explore all the places I desire to see and do all of the wonderful things that are available to me.  I can take a boat ride on the Savannah River or I can sit quietly on my balcony and enjoy its view.  Whatever I do…I know it will be the right choice!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Station...

     "Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision.  We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent.  We are traveling by train.  Out the windows we drink the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, or children waving at a crossing, or cattle grazing on a distant hillside, or smoke pouring from a power plant, or row upon row of corn and wheat, of flat lands and valleys, or mountains and rolling hillsides, or city skylines and village halls.

     But uppermost on our minds is the final destination.  On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station.  Bands will be playing and flags waving.  Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle.  How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering- waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

     "When we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry.  "When I am 18."  "When I buy my new 450SL Mercedes-Benz!"  "When I put the last kid through college."  "When I get a promotion." When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!"  

     Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all.  The true joy of life is the trip.  The station is only an illusion.  It constantly outdistances us.  

     "Relish the moment" is a good motto.  Especially when coupled with Psalms 118"24: "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad.  It is the regrets over yesterday and the fears of tomorrow.  Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

     So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles.  Instead, climb more mountains, watch more sunsets, laugh more, and cry less.  Life must be lived as we go along.  The station will come soon enough. "- Robert Hastings

Tucked tightly inside of a holiday card sent by a dear friend, was this reminder of how life should be lived and savored. Fabulous advice for the start of the new year.  Resolve to leave regret and fear behind...Resolve to enjoy every moment of your journey!  That's one resolution you won't regret!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Recognize your power… it goes deeper than just the power of the P%#@$!

I received lots of feedback with last weeks posting regarding embracing your singleness.  And although most of you got the point…many of you didn’t think that we explored far enough, and asked to expand embracing your singleness while involved in relationships.

First of all, the answer is yes!  Yes you can still be the strong, sexy independent woman you are, and still have successful relationships with men.  I believe that the key is held in recognizing your power.

It goes much deeper than a beautiful smile, a fabulous scent and the power of the P(*^%.  Understanding the power of the almighty word is probably the most influential tool that you have in your arsenal.  Getting him to listen, understand and see your side of things can be quite easy…if you approach him in the right way.

1.) Try Communicating with a Tender Touch- Don’t be combative and argumentative. Getting him to side with you takes more than proving your point.  Raising your voice because you are upset with him isn’t going to do a thing except shut him down and tune you out.  Try using the tender touch…for example:  “Yes, Honey, that’s a great idea, but have you considered this?  Now I will support your decision, no matter what you decide, but I would be more comfortable with this.  Now again, it’s your decision.!”  Then   drop it. Keep it short and sweet.  You’ve said your peace and you’ve made your stance known without taking away his power.

2.) Let Him Take Care of You- When you’re used to being self sufficient and independent, it’s hard to let some things go and ask for help.  I’ve struggled with this one and have failed many times.  I want things done when I want them done.  For example: “Honey can you reach into that top cabinet and grab the sugar…I can’t reach it.”  Or how about “Baby, can you get that pack of water out of the trunk of my car, please?”  Then exercise your patience and wait for him to do it.  If the thing you need is time sensitive, let him know that too.  “Honey, can you get the water out of the car for me please?  I need it now so that I can get my exercise bag ready .”  Now we all know that you’ve always been able to do these things on your own, but making your man feel as though he is needed is a powerful thing.

3.) Communication is Key- While the way you present your communication to him is paramount, it is also important to know that your man is not a mind reader.  Don’t expect him to do something for you, just because you think he should.  Tell him what you want.  If your anniversary in next week and you want to him to take you to dinner…ask him.  Don’t hope that he remembers your anniversary and then get upset with him because he didn’t remember.  Often time than not, men have selective memories.  Just because it’s important to you, doesn’t mean it will have the same significance for him.  Remember that you have not…because you ask not!

4.) Reward Him Often-  If you’ve been able to get him to listen to your suggestions, or gotten him to get the water out of the trunk of your car… why not reward him? Now we all know then men are sexually driven, but if its not a good time for sex, then how about his favorite dessert or favorite beer?  How about a nice mini massage on the neck and shoulders? Have you complimented him lately?  It doesn’t have to be anything big, but showing your man that he is appreciated can go a long way towards getting what you need him to do bot now and in the future.

5.) Be Consistent-  If you start doing these things, make sure that you continue to do them.  Don’t ask him to get the water out of the trunk this week, and then you pull it out of the trunk next week.  Need him often.  Don’t support him this week and take his power away the next.  Repetition and consistency will be fundamental to your future success.  Making him feel powerful, desirable will go a long way in helping you to maintain your power, while resulting in a happy relationship.