Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Art of the Pick Up Line...

You happen to maneuver your shopping cart turning down aisle three when you come across an adorable specimen, standing in front of the organic breakfast cereal, that is just too resistible to let walk away. You manage to get a good look at both hands, and happen to notice that he's NOT wearing a wedding ring, NOR is there a sign of a tan line on either ring finger.  The realization of this fact begins to make you nervous and your palms get hot and sweaty.  At this moment you realize that you are starting to get flush in the face and before your anxiety makes you appear as though you are running a fever. Do you…

(A) Decide that you are just too shy to make a move and you continue walking down the isle letting a perfectly great opportunity get away?

(B) Get his attention by asking..."Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've met you only in my dreams."

(C) Wait until he reaches for a cereal box to ask..."Is that a really good cereal?" and finish with your best smile?

My fingers are crossed that you didn’t chose either “A” or “B.” In my earnest heart of hearts, I believe that the art of the pick up line is to simply not have a line at all. All those cheesy and sometimes sexist one-liners are not enough to get you to first base if you aren’t approaching him (or anyone for that matter) with sincerity.  The best one-liners aren’t one-liners at all but rather icebreakers or conversation starters that help you to make that initial approach.  Truth be told, if your too shy to make that initial approach, then a quick glance combined with a great smile might be all that you need to walk away with his phone number.

Many of my male counterparts have mentioned time and time again that they are not just flattered but for the most part relieved, when a woman makes the first move.  Not only is it an ego booster for them, they will more times than not, return the flirtation because of your effort.

Making the first move isn’t at all where this thing ends. On the contrary, it is only the beginning. Understand that your follow up is even more important than the initial approach. What good will it do to get him to engage in conversation if you don’t seal the deal with a phone number?

For example: Your delectable hottie of a specimen, standing in front of the organic breakfast cereal looks like he’s pretty fit and one could safely assume that he probably takes decent care of his body.  So do you…

(A) Thank him for his advice on the cereal and tell him to have a nice day before you walk away?

(B) Compliment him on his fit stature and tell him that you’d like to get his ideas on eating organic and staying fit?

(C) Admit that you only asked him about the cereal because you think he’s adorable, and could care less about the damn cereal?

In this case either B or C would work, but if you really want to get to know him better, I would suggest flattery because simply put, flattery could get you there.  In this case I’d suggest B. but don’t assume that the flattery will win him over.  If you don’t think he’s fit… then by all means, don’t say that. If your not comfortable with that, then come up with something else that flows off your tongue a bit better.  Never be fake about it! Always be genuine about your intent, because I promise you that if you are not, it could bite you in the butt later on when you are least expecting it. Alternatively, should you fess up and admit your true motive, you could be mistaken for a “player,” and then not be taken seriously. As a woman, trust me when I say this is not a good look. In this case, honesty combined with a bit of seduction is the best policy, and even if he doesn’t surrender his phone number, you can be comforted by the fact there is probably a smile on your face and have probably made his day.  Not half bad for five minutes worth of work.

I think the point here is…if you don’t try, you’ll never know what works for you.  I have found circumstances where all that was needed was a bit of eye contact and a smile.  In other cases, drumming up a full-fledged conversation combined with a few “off the cuff” moments of laughter sealed the deal.  But you’ll never know if you aren’t willing to move outside your box and give it a try. The key here is making the effort.

Trust and believe that this will not work 100% of the time.  Get it in your head that this will take some work to naturally flow off your tongue, and you may be faced with a bit of rejection.  But what ever you do, understand that rejection in no way means that you must give in the towel.  You’ve heard the saying… “If at fail you don’t succeed, try, try again!”  In this case, practice makes perfect.  Challenge yourself to see how successful you can be by trying to get the number. Make it a game… can I get 5 telephone numbers this weekend???

My advice…shoot for the moon!  If you miss… then at least you’ll be amongst the stars!  Oh… and HAPPY SURFING!!!

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